Questions

Are you ever confused about the way things are supposed to be? Do you ever wonder how you’ll end up in a few years? Do you ever think you’ve figured somthing out and then its absolutly nothing what you thought or hoped for? Well, welcome to my world there folks. I dont really know how to say what I’m thinking or feeling right now because I just dont know how to explain it. Its easy to say God has all the answers because we know He does, and my faith in that does not change. I guess somtimes I wished that I knew more of the answers than I do. I wish that I could look into the future and know that everything will turn out normal and good. I met a guy tonight at a dinner who was probably in his 80’s and had never been married. He was a great Christian man who was the reason that I was at the dinner because he had given money to the seminary so that people like me could go. His faith was obvious. When I left there he told me that he would pray for each of us as tears were filling his eyes. I have absolutly no doubt in my mind that his faith in God was the driving force in his life and it was that faith that drove him to sponser 6 endowments all by himself. But I wonder if you would have ask him 60 years ago if he planned on being single his entire life? I wonder if that was somthing he was ok with? Those are questions that I dont know but it makes me wonder I guess. Apparently he was ok with just himself and he had lived a life that was pleasing to God accordingly. I want that kind of faith. I want to be ok with me and only me but somtimes its hard to tell yourself that fact. Its hard to tell yourself that theres a possibility in 60 years that you might still be single and that could be the plan that God has for your life. I really hope that I’m not coming off bitter or really despret but its on my mind tonight I guess because of one serious mistake I just made. There are so many guys that are kinda freaky when it comes to dating and all that here at SWBTS that I dont want to come off like any of them because thats not what I’m meaning at all. But as a guy you dont always want to be the gay friend you know…haha I guess I just need to keep my focus on God and His plan and His call on my life. Thats where my focus needs to be right now and everything else will fall into perfect place. I know this is random but hey its whats on the old mind tonight. Peace and Love.

The White-Man