The New Years Post

Well again I sit here trying to think of whitty things to write and I again I am a failure. So instead I guess I’ll touch on the whole New Years thing. As of right now I really have no idea as to what I am doing tomorrow night. Have you ever noticed that people always want to do stuff on New Years but no one knows just what that is. One year some friends and I made our own New Years eve ball. We wrapped a old wal-mart basketball in these tackey blue Christmas lights and droped it from a tree. I’m sure you are all wondering our sobrity at the time, so to put that question to rest…yes we were all sober. Bored but sober. Who ever thought of the whole New Years eve thing anyway? Probably a dude who was really desprite to kiss his women, so he thought hey we’ll celebrate by dropping a ball from my roof and acting so happy that she’ll kiss me when its all over. Or maybe his plan was to get her drunk on all the left over egg nog so then she would kiss him. Either way I’m curious. New Years is I guess fun for alot of people. If you like to drink alot, well tomorrows your night. Just remember your New years resolution can be AA if you want it to be. If your single like I am, you have my condolances (or how ever you spell that word). New Years can suck if your a single person. All those people kissing at midnight and you just standing there watching. I think this year to give myself somthing to do, I’m going to pass out breath mints at like 11:50. It will get that liquor taste out of the folks mouths for them. Maybe I’ll rent a date for the night, well then again….maybe not. I’m not one for prostitution. If you have a date for the night, be curdious and have your girlfriend give kisses to the poor schmucks in the corner. Its the Christian thing to do. You know what they say….sharing is caring. So be a pal and share your ladies lips for the evening. But seriously be carefull tomorrow night. Dont drive drunk, dont end up in bed with someone and be carefull. That brings up a thought. Someone should do a survey on how many kids were conceieved on New Years Eve…haha That would be hilarious and then later the survey could tell where…hahaha You know back of a mini-van, a tent, hooters bathroom, the list could go on and on…hahaa Ok well I’ve done enought damage for the night so be carefull and have a Happy New Year.

The White-Man

The Christmas Post

Well it is now offically Christmas here on the east coast. As I look at the clock its 12:37 am which means millions of little kids are asleep or trying to sleep hoping that Tim Allen, I mean Santa Claus will plop down their chimney and leave them tons of gifts. This has been a somwhat strange Christmas season for me this year and I dont really know why. Maybe its because I have been living in Texas and it hasnt been as cold and it doesnt feel like Christmas, or maybe its because the older I get the more and more Christmas changes. You remember when you were a kid and you couldnt sleep the night before Christmas. You would toss and turn all night long wondering what would be under your tree the next morning. It didnt matter what time you got up the next day because you were never tired untill after all the presents were opened. When I think of Christmas I automaticlly begin thinking of my dad who passed away in 1997. I guess its at holidays you begin to think about the people who are not here anymore and begin to miss them. My dad was the worst present wrapper of all time. Many times it looked like he had used the entire thing of wrapping paper to wrap one small present. I remember us laughing at his lack of wrapping ability on Christmas morning. I remember that on any other morning my dad was up by 5:00 am but on Christmas he always seemed to take longer and we always had to wait for him to get out of the shower before we could unwrap presents. I also remember the twinkle in his eyes when I would open my gifts and the shear joy that he got by just watching me. You know its funny what you remember about people. There are alot of big things that I don’t really remember about him but there are a ton of little things that I do. He always had this sparkle in his eyes, it was almost like he was winking without winking. I cant really explain it but as he started getting sick that sparkle started to leave. Many times I could judge how he felt by just looking at them. I remember the way he stood behind the pulpet on sunday morning and the way his voice would boom from it. I dont really remember any specific thing he ever talked about but I can still see him standing there. I remember Christmas morning 1988 when he baptized me at our church in Unionville, MO and seeing the pride he felt baptizing his son in front of his congregation. I guess Christmas is a great time of reflection. Think about how many memories you have on Christmas Day growing up. Its weird some of the things we forget about untill we sit back and think about them. The presents that we just had to have as a kid, the family dinners, those corny school Christmas concerts we all had to do. It also gives us a great chance to think about all those people who are important our lives, some here and others who are not. We get a chance to think about what they have meant in our lives and to the lives of others. Christmas is a great time of giving gifts but its also a great time to think about the great gifts that have been given to us and others in the past. I know that when I sit back and think about my dad I can only hope that I have the same impact on the world that he had. That when people look back on me they can say that I gave them a great gift by giving of myself and showing them the greatest gift of all in Christ. That is my hope and my prayer that not only will I make him proud in how I have lived my life but that others will see the great impact that he had on my life. Christmas does change, because we change. We get to see what others have done in our lifes and the gifts they have given us. Peace and Love……………..Merry Christmas

The White-Man

HMMMMMMMMMMMM

Tonight as I sat here messing around online, I saw this ladies picture. When I picked myself up out of the floor from shock and laughter, I began to wonder what she was thinking when this picture was taken. And then I thought what a wonderful blog idea. So these are my top 10 ideas of what this lady could have been thinking when this picture was taken.

10- Man I am so pissed that the gas station is out of skoal!
9- I wonder if men find my sunburned chest attractive?
8- Why is it that my dentist starts to cry when I walk into the room,smile and say hello?
7- I wonder how I can make my hair look more full?
6- Why does the cashier at the liquor store always make a funny face when I pull cash out from my bra, I mean its real money and its a long way from my arm pit!
5- I sure hope my husbands pro wrassling contract works out?
4- Did you know that I can belch the entire song Dixie?
3- I wonder if Jimmie put new mud tires on the mobile home, the lots getting kinda muddy?
2- I wonder why the Waffle House has locks on the doors, its says we’re open 24 hours a day.
1- I sure hope that Santa brings me and the babies some more possum this Christmas, that one he ran over last year made a great Christmas Dinner!

Ok I admitt that was pretty lame but I really just had to use this picture. This lady is hilarious, I mean how did somone talk her into posing for this photo. Mame we’re trying to find the most attractive women in the trailor park tonight, do you mind giving us your sexiest look? Or maybe it was, Mame can you please tell me the square root of 100? Oh well I just had to use it.

The White-Man

Christmas Movies

Last night I sat and watched a Christmas movie with my mom. I know what can I say, I’m such a sweet guy if thats what you were thinking..haha But anyway, so we’re watching the movie and man was it sad. I am by no means what you call a mushy person, you know I dont cry at things on TV, because you know its TV, ITS NOT REAL! The only show that gets me is the Extreme Makeover show on Sundays, where they remodel some ones house who somthing terrible has happend to them. But see that show is real and guys if you dont want people to see you shead a tear well then watch in a diffrent room because your going to tear up. But as I was watching this movie I began to think about other Christmas movies out there. And then in a moment of shear brilliance I knew why so many people get depressed over the holidays. Its these sappy Christmas movies!! Man they are ridiculous, they all have to do with a couple of things…..some people fall in love, some people find an old love and fall in love, someone they love dies a tragic and unexpected death, or someone comes home and remembers someone who has died a while back. Is this ringing a bell with anyone? We were watching the sequal to The Christmas Shoes and it had that guy that was Doogie Howser back when we were kids. So Doogie comes back to town because He’s scared to move on with his life because his mom died when he was a kid. And then he falls in love with a new school teacher in town who almost dies because her kidneys are failing. And then they both be-friend this kid who does die from a heart condition and the kid of course gives the school teacher his kidney so that she can live. Sappy is not the word to use here people because this movie was far beyond sappy. Can we not just have a normal happy Christmas movie. You know one thats funny and that doesnt try and make you cry from the opening credits. Tonight I am taking a stand and rebelling agaist all these crappy and sappy movies. I am going to watch Monday Night Football and I shall not cry. People dont cry in football, its great, its three hours of men hitting the crap out of each other and I like it. While watching football I think I’m going to also write my own screen play for a Christmas movie. Its going to be called Robin Hood the Christmas Ninja, just because I think that sounds funny. The whole point of the movie is going to be this dude who looks like a cross between Robin Hood and Santa Clause who goes and attacks all those dudes who dress up like Santa in public places. Wouldnt it be funny to hide a camera and watch as a dude in tights roughs up some skinny little mall Santa with a pillow for a gut. I would find that hilious. Maybe even I could do a scene when my Robin Hood would spike the eggnog at a Company Christmas party and then hiden cameras watch all the employees sit on the copier taking pictures of their can. Now that would be a good Christmas movie. One that the whole family could sit and laugh about. If anyone reading this ever rights a Christmas screen play, please dont make it super sappy, their just not realistic and some of us are forced to watch them. People I’m sure get depressed over them and they are just flat out cheesy. Ho Ho Ho

The White-Man

I Am Not

As I get more and more into this blog thing I realize that its a really great way to express all parts of a persons life. Whether that be somthing really dumb and funny or whether it be a more serious topic in someones life. For me I’ve used it for dumb and funny stuff but it occured to me just a little while ago that this book I am reading is really great and has a great message. I am reading the book, “I am not but I know I AM” by Louie Giglio. To give you a small over-view of what I have read so far he is basiclly showing how rewarding the Christain walk can be when we submit to the fact that we are small but that God is big. My synopsis sounds a little childish I admitt. We all know that we are small compared to God but the really cool thing about our lives is this…..We get to have a personal relationship with Him. That really hit me tonight. The same God who created everything we see. The same God who made the sunrise and the sunset all in perfect order. The same God who is so big and so all knowing and so all powerfull and so in controll of everything. That same God still wants to have a personal relationship with me. In the mist of all the things that God has going on, He still wants to make time for my problems, my praises and any other tid bit of knowledge I want to give Him. Even though He already knows it. He was so concerned with us that He made us in His own image. We werent just somthing thrown together on a whim or some weekend project that He had to get done. He was so proud and cared so much about His creation that He gave it the ultimate seal of approval, He made us in His image. The book loves to show how big the universe is. Just think how big the world is and then from there you have the milky way and then from the their the whole rest of the universe and for my little brain its just more than I can get my arms around. I cant begin to understand it all and I really begin to feel small. And thats the point of this book, that I am small. Not so that I feel completly insignificant or anything but that I understand that this life is not about Dooley, its about God. And even though I am so small in all of this He still wants to know me and who I am. Theres a great quote in this book that says:

I am not, but He knows my name
I am not, but He has pursued me in His love
I am not, but I have been purchased and redeemed
I am not, but I have been invited into The Story
I am not, but I know the Creator of the Universe
I am not, but I know I AM!

I cant begin to tell you the reason I wrote this blog. I started reading this book and it hit me that theres more to this life than me. So many times we search for a higher purpose in our lives. We look and we look to find some miraculous meaning to it all. People search the ends of the earth trying to find fullfilment and meaning in their lives. When all along its right infront of us. Our purpose in this life is to glorify Christ and to live for that purpose, everything else is just iceing on the cake.

The White-Man

AgainWith The Madness

Well I sit here again bored in North Carolina. Its only my second week here on break and already I have a serious case of cabin fever, that no cow bell can satisfy.(if you watch SNL you should get that) I love the whole break, dont get me wrong but its just that Highlands is not exactly what you call a happening kind of town. Its cold and well Texas really hasnt been that cold, untill I left that is. Today I was so bored that I made supper for my mom and myself and even baked this cake thing that was in the cabinet. If you know me you know that I dont cook and I’m deffiently not Martha freaking Stewart, so the fact that I cooked in general is rare. I didnt even use a microwave, which for me folks is a big deal that deserves a parade somewhere, preferable somewhere warm.

So during this really long day today I was watching some TV. And I began to notice all of the “lose weight quick” plans that are out there today. They all are basiclly the same with their before and after pictures of really fat people who turn into really beautiful small people after only weeks on this new diet revolution. It got me to thinking and since I am now a “blogger” it gave me somthing write about. I am by no means what you call a diet expert or do I profess to work out so that I keep a toned body. I call my stomach the keg and I am quit proud of its being around. It took me 25 years to grow it and I’m kinda fond of him by now. Now when I was in high school I was a really skinny guy and I even had muscles in my stomach. I had a little mini six pack and it was really cool I guess. But I also looked like a little man who was riding a chicken, unlike now I look more like………ok well I cant really think of anything punny to say there, but you get my point. There was one dude today whos name was John somthing and he had this workout called fitness made simple. He was freaking scary looking, granted I could wash my cloths on his gut but he really freaked me out. I dont think God intended for us to have that many muscles poking out of us because if he would have I think He would have went ahead and made us that way. Maybe I’m wrong there but who cares, its my blog. I mean to get to have that many muscles what are you really allowed to eat. Probably a healthy diet of carrots and other healthy crap that tastes like the back yard. In the words of someone I heard one time, I refuse to believe that we climbed to the top of the food chain to turn around and eat like rabbits. To all you vegatarians out there you disgust me, quit eating the bark off the tree your hugging and eat a steak, it’ll be good for you. And for the ones of you that the thought of eating meat makes you sick to your stomach I say, MOOOOOOOOOOO! Ha take that! For the rest of us normal people who dont work out 5 times a day, let alone 5 times a month I salute you. Heart attacks and other really fun medical problems await us but by goodness we’re going out with a bang. I guess in the end we can all hope that we dont end up like this lady in the moo moo thats going to be at the top of the page(if I can figure out how to post a picture that is). Moderation is still I guess important although I have to be honest, Spaghetti O’s and I get along quite well. Maybe they wont be that bad for me in the end. Well again I have accomplished what I set out to do, which is…….well nothing. Feel free to respond.

The White-Man

Ps If you know the lady in this pic, well I’m sorry about that.

Words From the White-Man

So I have offically decided to walk into this techno crap and start a blog. To be honest I always thought diaries were kinda weird or somthing girls did to write about boys, but the more I see them the more normal they become. Who knows maybe one day someone will read over my words and think, “Now there lived a genius.” Now that poor sucker will have hit his head somewhere down the road but thats cool, everyone needs a fan. So I am starting off my blog very randomly because I really have nothing to say. Now if I keep this up(the blog thing if you cant follow) you’ll soon find out that very rarely do I have somthing important to say and then you will also find out that seldom does it stop me from saying it.

I went to a movie with a friend tonight and she began to vent to me the hardships of being a girl. To be honest I always thought that girls have it easier, minus the whole childbirth thing which I must admitt has to really hurt. You know the guy is the one who asks the girl out and who has to make the first move. Or so I thought. In her eyes, usually the guy is the one who waits for the girl to make the first move and that just drives her crazy. Apparently we men are supposed to always make the first move. I dont know if its just the guys shes been dating or if its the guys in our hometown here in North Carolina that have this shyness problem, either way I guess I learned somthing here today. We went and saw the movie Just Friends which if you havent seen it is really funny. It also was the event that prompted this incredibly deep conversation. (I hope you can smell the sarcasm as you read.) I really think that many times single men and women are all in the same boat. We’re probably are all scared to get shot down, fully knowing that if we dont try theres no real way to find out. But it still really sucks to get shot down you know? You ever see those pictures of a duck dog bringing home a duck that has just been plucked out of the sky, yeah well I guess when you get shot down by someone, you kinda feel like that dead duck in the dogs mouth. Minus the slober and teeth marks of course. As a guy its kinda funny to hear girls talk about what they want in a man. They always want a sensitive caring guy, who will listen to them in any situation. But in most cases its those same girls who end up dating the polar opposites of that sensitive careing shmuck and date the captain of the insensitive, I dont care about anything and my IQ is that of a tic tac team. If anyone feels me on this please let me know. Now I dont think I will ever use this blog thing as a means to pick up women, but if by some act of the good Lord they find it funny and maybe whitty, who am I to judge a women with such taste….haha And women if for some chance you read this please let me know why it is that many of you pick the guy who is a human tool box instead of the sensitive guy you were asking for! Not that I am really either, I guess I am kind of in the middle but it has always made me wonder and is somthing that I would ponder, like where does that lost sock go everytime I do laundry. Or why do some men find the come-over a suitable hair-cut? Ok well I guess I have done my job here and made the first ever Words from the White-man blog official. If you dont like the name, tough. I didnt ask you now did I?…hahahaha And if you find words that are not spelled right or that are missing all together, use your imagination. Feel free to respond and tell me what you really think.
The White-Man